“We’re being led by an idiot with a crayon.”
Artemis Fowl wants to find his father, held hostage in Russia; Holly Short wants to find who’s supplying the goblins with human technology; Foaly wants to find out who’s disabled all the LEP Technology and pointed the finger at him. Artemis has received a ransom demand for his father but is captured by the LEP who suspect him of supplying the goblins with dangerous Human technology (batteries). He convinces them he’s innocent and agrees to help them if they help him free his father. Meanwhile, down in the underground world, chaos has arisen. An unknown traitor has stolen forbidden weapons and armed a horde of trolls, setting them loose to wreak havoc on the citizens. Clues lead Captain Holly Short straight to Artemis, and she exacts a small bit of revenge by kidnapping him, just as he once kidnapped her. But soon she learns that Artemis isn’t behind the chaos, and if she’s to have any hope of stopping it, she will need his help. As a result, these onetime adversaries must now join forces—a mix that proves to be both charming and volatile.
As you probably know, reading brings a smile to my face. A happy glorious moment of relaxation and calmness. Artemis Fowl destroyed that peace for me. With this heart-racing fast-paced book, Artemis meets another brick wall. And breaks it down with one clean punch. Astounded by Eoin Colfer’s (pronounced Owen) ability to write such amazing books, I dove head first into another one of Artemis Fowl’s adventures.
“Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression.
Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case?
Artemis: (head in hands) It’s my mother, Doctor.
Doctor Po: Yes?
Artemis: My mother, she…
Doctor Po: Your mother, yes?
Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school’s so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.”
“I’m the crazy girly captain, Remember?”
“No, I don’t think you understand just how stupid goblins are. Let me give you an example. One of the B’wa Kell generals, and this is their top fairy, was caught caught trying to pass off forged credit slips by signing his own name.”
Holly winked. ‘Do I look like a fly boy to you, Fowl?’
Artemis had to admit that she didn’t. Captain Short was extremely pretty in a dangerous sort of way. Black-widow pretty. Artemis was expecting puberty to hit in approximately eight months, and he suspected that at that point he would look at Holly in a different light. It was probably just as well that she was eighty years old.”
“The craft’s occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn’t. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf’s word for what lay at the other end.”
The dwarf had drawn a crude diagram on a backlit wall panel. In fairness, there were more artistic chimpanzees. And less pungent ones. Mulch was using a carrot as a pointer, or more accurately, several carrots. Dwarfs liked carrots.
‘This is Koboi Labs,’ He mumbled around a mouthful of vegetable.
‘That?’ exclaimed Root.
‘I realize, Julius, that it is not an accurate schematic.’
The Commander exploded from his chair. ‘An accurate schematic? It’s a rectangle for heaven’s sake!’
Mulch was unperturbed. ‘That’s not important. This is the important bit.’
‘That wobbly line?’
‘It’s a fissure,’ pouted the dwarf. ‘Anybody can see that.’
‘Anybody in kindergarten maybe. So it’s a fissure, so what?’
‘This is the clever bit. Y’see that fissure is not usually there.’
Root began strangling the air again. Something he was doing more and more lately.”
Where can I find this book?
*If you are unaware, I have a video on how to use Indie Bound as a resource on how to find books
**Also, if you have a Windows Phone, there is a really good PDF reader app called Bookviser Reader. You can check out their website here.