Read the Draft
My book is way too long to put in text format here, so below is a version you can download. Just click on the link.
My oldest cousin decided to give me a couple tips on how to improve what I have.
- Don’t start with a rhetorical question, that makes it boring
- Contradiction of the “No Rules” thing – I think the everyone for themselves is a cool idea
- This is not a movie script, this is a book. Needs more thoughts/feelings (how does Saphira feel about being called “you”? How does she feel about Lord Shaxx?)
- Saphira is low class – this means she should not have access to higher equipment. Elaborate on how she a. feels about this and b. how she acquired her watch.
- Expand the 1st chapter into 3 chapters
- The Note (describe character, house, etc.)
- The City (describe the city and going to the square)
- Meeting Kadi (describe Lord Shaxx, the Square, and meeting Kadi)
- Elaborate more on how Safi is an Earthling and being an outcast
- More description/imagery: appearances; dress choices; race; nationality (you can make it up) (you can also base it off of real people); the reader needs to see the character;
- Italicize thoughts – this can make it clear about what the character is thinking