“You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It’s really funny.”

Summary

A hero with an incredible talent…for breaking things. A life-or-death mission…to rescue a bag of sand. A fearsome threat from a powerful secret network…the evil Librarians.

Alcatraz Smedry doesn’t seem destined for anything but disaster. On his 13th birthday he receives a bag of sand, which is quickly stolen by the cult of evil Librarians plotting to take over the world. The sand will give the Librarians the edge they need to achieve world domination. Alcatraz must stop them!…by infiltrating the local library, armed with nothing but eyeglasses and a talent for klutzines

Personal Experiences

If you hate fantasy books, this book is for YOU! Alcatraz tends to make fun of a lot of things, but one thing he hates is fantasy books. Which is slightly ironic, considering that he is the main character in a fantasy book.

The main character, Alcatraz, loves to talk. You are read the climax of the story, and Alcatraz interrupts the story to sidetrack and tell you about giraffes liking other giraffes. I will no doubt admit that this story is hilarious. And sadly kinda short and a fast read, but nonetheless a Sanderson keeper. 

Al gives you bathroom breaks. Al tells you to go to sleep. Al gives you adventure. Al gives you suspense. Alcatraz gives you fantasy.

Alcatraz is like a mother, who only exists in your imagination.

Quotes

“By now, it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for falling into my trap. It is a writer’s greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of his books. It goes back to authors being terrible people who delight in the suffering of others. Plus, we get a kickback from the caffeine industry…”


“People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN’T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort. I could, however, make myself insane, if I wished. (Though if I achieved the second, I might be able to make myself think I’d achieved the first….)
Anyway, if there’s a lesson to be learned, it’s this: great success often depends on being able to distinguish between the impossible and the improbable. Or, in easier terms, distinguishing between Popsicles and insanity.
Any questions?”


“Authors also create lovable, friendly characters, then proceed to do terrible things to them, like throw them in unsightly librarian-controlled dungeons. This makes readers feel hurt and worried for the characters. The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren’t the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties.”


“If you don’t believe what I’m telling you, then ask yourself this: would any decent, kind-hearted individual become a writer? Of course not.”


“Remember, despite the fact that this book is being sold as a ‘fantasy’ novel, you must take all of the things it says extremely seriously, as they are quite important, are in no way silly, and always make sense.

Rutabaga.”


“They are presented attractively for the same reason that kittens are cute – so that they can draw you in, then pounce on you for the kill.

Seriously. Stay away from kittens.”


“I froze, shocked. (And don’t try to claim that you did anything different the first time a government bureaucrat pulled a gun on you.)”


“So, when people try to give you some book with a shiny round award on the cover, be kind and gracious, but tell them you don’t read “fantasy,” because you prefer stories that are real. Then come back here and continue your research on the cult of evil Librarians who secretly rule the world.”


“Now, I had been frightened on several different occasions in my life. The most frightening of these involved an elevator and a mime.”


“If you are anything like me — Clever, fond of goat cheese, and devilishly handsome — then you have undoubtedly read many books.”


“Sometimes it was daunting, knowing how easily I could break things. This one simple curse seemed to dominate my entire life.”


“Authors write books for one, and only one, reason: because we like to torture people.”


“Sing!” Grandpa Smedry yelled, his voice echoing down a hallway to the right.”Sing!” If he breaks into song I think I might have to strangle myself… I thought, cringing.”


Where YOU can begin your research on Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians

Indie Bound*

PDF**

*If you are unaware, I have a video on how to use Indie Bound as a resource on how to find books

**Also, if you have a Windows Phone, there is a really good EPUB reader app called Bookviser Reader. You can check out their website here.

ALSO PLEASE VOTE FOR ME HERE.

Happy Reading…

Cite this article as: Serene Haroon, "Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians (Alcatraz #1) by Brandon Sanderson," in {sereneharoon.com}, April 25, 2016, https://www.sereneharoon.com/2016/04/alcatraz-versus-the-evil-librarians-alcatraz-1-by-brandon-sanderson/.

59 thoughts on “Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians (Alcatraz #1) by Brandon Sanderson”

  1. buy generic viagra https://mymypharmacy.com/ – viagra soft viagra story pharmacy viagra viagra generic online

  2. prescription drugs online https://canadian-pharmacyonlineolys.com/ – canada pharmacy online pharmacy online canadian pharmacy online canada pharmacy online

  3. online sildenafil citrate brands sildenafil 50mg how long does sildenafil take to kick in

  4. online sildenafil citrate brands sildenafil 50mg how long does sildenafil take to kick in

  5. online sildenafil citrate brands sildenafil 50mg how long does sildenafil take to kick in

  6. online sildenafil citrate brands sildenafil 50mg how long does sildenafil take to kick in

  7. online sildenafil citrate brands sildenafil 50mg how long does sildenafil take to kick in

  8. online sildenafil citrate brands sildenafil 50mg how long does sildenafil take to kick in

  9. online sildenafil citrate brands sildenafil 50mg how long does sildenafil take to kick in

  10. online sildenafil citrate brands sildenafil 50mg how long does sildenafil take to kick in

  11. when does generic cialis become available cialis cost can i take 2 5mg cialis

  12. when does generic cialis become available cialis cost can i take 2 5mg cialis

  13. when does generic cialis become available cialis cost can i take 2 5mg cialis

  14. when does generic cialis become available cialis cost can i take 2 5mg cialis

  15. when does generic cialis become available cialis cost can i take 2 5mg cialis

  16. when does generic cialis become available cialis cost can i take 2 5mg cialis

  17. when does generic cialis become available cialis cost can i take 2 5mg cialis

  18. what are the side effects of viagra and alcohol order viagra online will half a viagra work

  19. what doses does cialis come in cialis uk blood pressure and cialis

  20. what doses does cialis come in cialis uk blood pressure and cialis

  21. what doses does cialis come in cialis uk blood pressure and cialis

  22. what doses does cialis come in cialis uk blood pressure and cialis

  23. what doses does cialis come in cialis uk blood pressure and cialis

  24. what does generic viagra cost buying generic viagra online buy viagra for men

  25. what does generic viagra cost buying generic viagra online buy viagra for men

  26. what does generic viagra cost buying generic viagra online buy viagra for men

  27. what does generic viagra cost buying generic viagra online buy viagra for men

  28. what does generic viagra cost buying generic viagra online buy viagra for men

  29. what does generic viagra cost buying generic viagra online buy viagra for men

  30. what does generic viagra cost buying generic viagra online buy viagra for men

  31. Wonderful post. I find out something a lot more tough on different blogs everyday. It will certainly always be promoting to read web content from other authors as well as exercise a little something from their shop. I?d favor to use some with the content on my blog site whether you don?t mind. Natually I?ll offer you a web link on your web blog. Many thanks for sharing.

  32. Youre so awesome! I do not expect Ive review anything similar to this before. So wonderful to locate someone with some original ideas on this subject. realy thanks for starting this up. this web site is something that is needed on the web, somebody with a little creativity. valuable work for bringing something brand-new to the net!

  33. I am assisting some good friends get their shop on the map and saw. They have a website. Among the ways in my research study to enhance a web site is to utilize a blog site. I am not blog site wise and also neither are they so need a little assistance as to good websites to place there blog to make sure that they get discovered.

  34. What are some great Tumblr blogs that enable you to send images, to get even more fans?

  35. What are some great Tumblr blog sites that permit you to send pictures, to acquire more followers?

  36. How to obtain google adsense make up my all 3 blogs and also 2 web sites?

  37. Hi, i have a cost-free wordpress blog site. I have added the widgets that can be found in the widget section. Yet how do i add widgets that are from third parties such as clustrmaps? If totally free wordpress blog sites do not permit that, which cost-free blog solution permits that?.

  38. Without asking them to erase it, is there a method i can delete my own blog site discuss another person’s blog? Please aid(:.

  39. Just how do I hide my prolonged network & blog sites, without leaving a significant white gap down the bottom?

  40. I’ve been looking for blog sites where blog writer covers penis enhancement or at the very least looks into the subject of penis enlargement with an independent and severe voice. What are the leading blogs of this type?.

  41. In other words, exactly how do i look for blogs that fit what I want to review? Does anybody recognize exactly how to BROWSE through blogs by subject or whatever on blog writer?.

  42. I’m trying to find out what one of the most prominent blogs are when it pertains to news and also views and also mobile phone things.

  43. I am about to start a blog site. Together with numerous various other hopeful’s, I hope to eventually earn money off it. I saw a great deal of websites do not permit you to generate income of google ad feeling and also points like that. What are some websites I can start my blog site on that will permit this considering that it seems to be one of the most rewarding method to earn money off a blog?.

  44. I just tried to watch a National Geographic video on YouTube to find a message saying that the copyright holder had blocked me from viewing it because I’m not in the USA.. . Similar to HULU, and Comedy Central.. . Why?.

  45. What is the easiest way to copy my WordPress blogs to a new hosting company?

  46. I’m juggling about 10 things right now so I don’t have that much time to play around learning how to make a website. What are good resources to jump-start implementing javascript, php, mySQL, etc?.

  47. On my friend’s blogs they have added me on their blog rolls, but mine always sits at the bottom of the list and does not list when I post like it does for others. Is this a setting that I need to change or is this a choice that they have made?.

  48. Hi,. I am new to joomla and my boss is asking me to add some of the joomla functionality to the current website so that the owner of the website can itself modify the contents. I am having no idea about how to do that. My boss says that there is no need to re-build the website in joomla. If anybody can help me, I will be highly obliged.. Thanks.

  49. I just want to tell you that I am just beginner to blogs and absolutely loved you’re website. Most likely I’m going to bookmark your site . You certainly come with outstanding articles. Thanks a lot for sharing with us your web-site.

  50. Great website. A lot of helpful information here. I¦m sending it to several buddies ans additionally sharing in delicious. And naturally, thank you in your effort!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *